Well that was hard. Today I pulled the plug on my passion project.
Untamed Earth was a tall plastic Pubic Hair sculpture destined for Burning Man 2016. It was a hilarious monument to the eternal imperfections alive and persistent in each of us.
But I could not force this giant Hair Forest to grow. Overwhelmed, I have poured heart, soul, and struggle into this whimsical and grotesque shrine. I have swamped myself with an unachievable workload to make up for team members who fell through.
Yet I know that Untamed Earth is not meant to come to life this way. Not today.
Untamed Earth was meant to celebrate a hilarious taboo. It aimed to enlarge what humans cartoonishly hide from each other. (As though any adult would ever not grow pubic hair.) How silly! It was meant to be fun.
When our project team dissolved last month, I determined to put my head down and ignore the hundreds of hours of work ahead of me. I reached out for support, and felt disheartened finding none.
Then I realized that there is nothing fun about building a collaborative project with no collaborators.
Just like in yoga – just like in all things in life – there is no prize waiting at the end of the goal achieved. Richness comes from sweetly enjoying each moment along the way. Seeing that I felt so alone in this project, I knew it was not for me.
So although I’ve been raised to “never let go,” and to “finish what you start,” I know that I’m not meant to break my teeth digging into this one. I choose to end this struggle.
I am not here to single-handedly drag this project to life. I’m not here to suffer the agonizing heartbreak of grueling over a compromise of my original vision.
I am here to celebrate the joyful nature alive and well in each of us. I am here to witness inconvenient imperfections in myself and others. I am here to hold space for all those hilarious things we hide from ourselves and each other.
To vitality, persistence, and hilarious naturalness in all its glory. I am pulling up my adult socks and letting go of Untamed Earth. This is a good thing.
(I never thought I’d be sad to say goodbye to pubic hair.)