I was reading Untethered Soul, agreeing strongly in the part about breaking down the barriers we build around ourselves... Then I came home and my window wouldn't close because it's broken.
Immediately I felt fear. It's cold where I live! What will I do when it's not hot and sunny out? What will I do to get my landlord to fix this? Panic spoke for a moment. Then I literally looked past the open crack and saw plain beauty in the nature beyond. Wow. Outside is majestic. There isn't anything to fear in sight. I have views over trees, mountains, birds, and insects. A cool fresh breeze wafting through. Sunshine peaking over the mountains. It is life-affirming. What I can see is incredible!
Ok, Universe. I get your message, loud and clear. I will get out more. I will open the windows of my mind and let in the unlimited brilliance of nature. I receive your challenge to be more open, and I meet it without fear.
That said, does anyone know a good window repair person?
In case you haven't read it, here's a particularly moving excerpt from Michael A. Singer's Untethered Soul, page 122-124.
"There are two ways you can live: you can devote your life to staying in your comfort zone, or you can work on your freedom. In other words, you can devote your whole life to the process of making sure everything fits within your limited model, or you can devote your life to freeing yourself from the limits of the model [the cage]. …
When you are truly awake spiritually, you realize you are caged. You wake up and realize that you can hardly move in there. You’re constantly hitting the limits of your comfort zone. You see that you’re afraid to tell people what you really think. You see that you’re too self-conscious to freely express yourself. You see that you have to stay on top of everything in order to be okay.
Why? There’s really no reason. You have set these limits on yourself. If you don’t stay within them, you get scared, you feel hurt, and you feel threatened. That’s your cage. …
Going beyond means going beyond the borders of the cage. There should be no cage. The soul is infinite. It is free to expand everywhere. It is free to experience all of life. This can only happen when you are willing to face reality without mental boundaries. If you still have barriers, and you know what they are because you hit them every day, you must be willing to go beyond them. Otherwise you remain within your cage.
And remember, decorating your cage with beautiful experiences, fond memories, and great dreams is not the same as going beyond. A cage by any other name is still a cage. You must be willing to go beyond.
… Eventually you will realize that it cannot actually hurt you to go beyond your psychological limits. If you are willing to just stand at the edge and keep walking, you will go beyond. You used to pull back when it got uncomfortable. Now you relax and go past that point. That is all it takes to go beyond. Go beyond where you were a minute ago by handling what’s happening now. ...
When you are trained, like a great athlete, to immediately relax through your edges when they hit, then it's all over. You realize that you will always be fine. ... You end up loving your edges because they point your way to freedom. Then one day, when you least expect it, you fall through into the infinite. That is what it means to go beyond."
Did you know that I'm a control freak? Yep. That's how I learned to be compassionate.
Before self-love, I had to look harshly on all the uptight, wound-up habits I have in the world. (There's a lot, and they're hilarious.) The only way I could live with them was to learn how to love them.
Great counselling has taught me to regard uptight clenching as my "growth zone," and that I can love myself anyways. By loving my stiffness, closed-mindedness, and other unsavoury digressions, I can move past the agony of being, and get into just Being.
And I take myself less seriously - which is about the only thing I actually control. To me that means moving around, prancing. It's fun, and that is a gamechanger.
Some days I choose to hide behind fear and rigidity. I just want to know everything now. I can't accept the mystery, so I choose misery instead.
And other days, I can see that I'm blinded by rigidity and I know that it's time to move my body. With that bigger perspective I see that I don't need to know; that the mystery is a much bigger gift; that humility is joyful.
So here I am, putting one foot in front of the other. Sometimes more freely than others. Sometimes with calculating and other times with courage. Always onwards, into more willingness to be open and love.
So the next time you hear me talking about "loving yourself" in a workshop or class, know that I am up to my elbows in doing it with you.
If you want to try this "being lighter" thing with me, check out my upcoming events.